Some parents communicate post-divorce without problems. Others may find that more structure is needed when working out issues, such as weekly planned phone calls with an agreed agenda of issues limited to their child’s needs. In either case, the important thing is to set consistent rules and policies, from toilet training and bedtime routines to homework expectations and teen driving. The phrase “Mom and Dad decided…” becomes both a useful tool and a powerful illustration of how their parents, though divorced, can still work together. How you individually implement those rules in your separate households won’t matter. What matters is this: conflict over your differences is more likely to cause harm than the difference itself. As parents - amiable split or hostile divorce - you still have the power to guide and protect your children, both separately and together.
The information in this blog series was gathered from the Summer 2015 issue of Family Advocate, Vol. 38, No.1. particularly from the articles “Parental Communication: How to Talk with One Another” by Jeffrey Zimmerman and Lauren Behrman, and “Divorce and Parent-Child Boundaries” by Robert A. Simon.